Maybe a relationship will end all my problems?

Ashley Wells, Seven, Amber Larson, Wisdom Quarterly; alt-J; Bhikkhu Bodhi; Method PUA

Sex? alt-J Breezeblock: "Please don't go, I love you so!" Reverse makes no sense! See it forward:

Looking for a diversion, an emotional distraction, a personal relationship to fill the void on Paris' "Bridge of Love Locks" over the Seine ("sane"), a popular tourist attraction (kunm.org)

.

Oops! - Captain Chaos, you've done it again!

Our teacher Bhikkhu Bodhi once wrote in "The Quest for Meaning" that, just as Nature does not tolerate a vacuum, humans will not tolerate a loss of meaning.

Then to escape the plunge into an abyss of meaninglessness, we grab for anything to immerse ourselves in distractions.

Answer to all my problems: Jeremy!

What do we do? Bhikkhu Bodhi says, We pursue pleasure and power, seek wealth and status, surround ourselves with contraptions, invest our hopes in personal relationships to conceal our inner poverty.

We use our absorption in whatever distractions we can find to help us cope with our psychological VOID. But then this stifles a deeper, more insistent need -- our longing for freedom and peace that does not depend upon anything external.

What if I were to love myself? No!

We don't need a religion, a relationship, or a Revolver (like the Beatles who claimed "happiness is a warm gun").  But we need something!

Maybe "thing" is not the right word for what we need. If we had accomplishments, we'd feel better. We may not need them, but they wouldn't hurt. Maybe we need capabilities. We may not need them (or we may already have them uncovered and untapped), but they wouldn't hurt.

Breaking up is sad not because who we were with was so great, but because we know we're never going to be able to get someone this good again. At least that's what we think in our loss. Maybe what we need is to become Pick Up Artists (PUA) with style, a little substance, and a lot of sex -- but not all crazy like Method or that killer.

 

No, I think LOVE would work, somebody else's love. I have nothing higher to live for! Just like this video, which tells the story of a passionate relationship backwards and forwards:
 

Our Relationship in Forward

Vesak 2014 with Bhikkhu Bodhi at Bodhi Monastery, New Jersey (bodhimonastery.org)

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The world, the world! (sutra)

Amber Larson and Dhr. Seven (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly; F.L. Woodward (trans.), Kindred Sayings, The Chapter on Channa and Others (Samyutta Nikaya, IV, Pali Text Society)

Saving the world, protesting economic and social injustices, Occupy L.A. (Wisdom Quarterly)

  

(84) Ven. Ananda came to see the Exalted One [Buddha]...and asked:

"'The world! The world!' it is said. venerable sir, please explain, how far does this saying go?"

"Ananda, what is transitory (paloka-dhamma = bhijjanaka, worldly phenomena, impermanent) by nature is called 'the world' in this noble doctrine and discipline [Arya-Dhamma-Vinaya].

 

"And what, Ananda, is transitory by nature? The eye, Ananda, is transitory by nature...visible objects... [The same is said for all six senses including the] mind is transitory by nature, mind-states, mind-consciousness, mind-contact [contact = the coming together of sense base, sense object, AND consciousness], whatever pleasure or pain (weal or woe) or neutral state experienced arises owing to mind-contact -- that, too, is transitory by nature. 

"Ananda, what is transitory by nature is called 'the world' in this noble doctrine and discipline."

Empty (void)

(85) Then Ven. Ananda...said to the Exalted One: "'The world IS empty! The world is empty!' it is said. Venerable sir, how far does this saying go?"

"Ananda, because the world is devoid of a self or anything belonging to a self (atta-niya, a self's property or possessions), therefore it is said, 'The world is empty.' And what, Ananda, is devoid of a self or what belongs to a self?

"Eye, visible objects, eye-consciousness... mind, mind-objects, mind consciousness are devoid of a self. Ananda, that is why it is said, 'The world is empty!'"

In Brief

Massive, sitting, golden Shakyamuni Buddha statue, Thailand (WQ)

 

(86) ...Then Ven. Ananda said to the Exalted One: "Well, for me, venerable sir, if the Exalted One would teach me a teaching in brief, a teaching which on hearing from the Exalted One I might dwell solitary, remote, earnest, ardent, and aspiring."

 

"Now what do you think, Ananda? Is the eye permanent or impermanent?" -- "Impermanent, venerable sir."

"What is impermanent, is that pleasant or painful (weal or woe)?" "Painful, venerable sir."

"Now what is impermanent, painful (woeful, disappointing), changeable by nature, is it fitting to regard that as, 'This is mine. This I am. This is my self'?" -- "Surely not, venerable sir."

 

"Eye, visible objects, eye-consciousness, eye-contact -- is that permanent or impermanent?" [This same is said of all six senses, types of sense objects, consciousness, and contact between the three].

"Then of what is impermanent, disappointing, and changeable by nature, is it fitting to regard that as, 'This is mine. This I am. This is my self'?" -- "Surely not, venerable sir."

"So seeing, Ananda, the well-taught noble disciple... [is] freed of conceits; one grasps at nothing in the world [does not cling to anything in the world or anything regarding an illusory ego]. Being free from grasping, one is not troubled. Being untroubled, one is by oneself set free. Thus one realizes, 'Rebirth is destroyed, lived is the highest life, done is the task. There is no more of this [suffering] to come.'

 

"This, Ananda, is the proper approach to the uprooting of all conceits [delusions]."

 

The Heart of Wisdom Sutra

(COMMENTARY)

The later Mahayana tradition says all of this much more cryptically in the "Perfection of Wisdom" literature (Prajna Paramita), epitomized in the Heart Sutra.

 

There the Five Aggregates of Clinging are laid bare: form, feeling, perception, formations, and consciousness are empty. 

 

That is, they are devoid of a "self" through and through. Illusion exists. These constituents of being/becoming are generally regarded as a "self" by untaught, ordinary worldlings.

 

But because they are impermanent and unsatisfactory (disappointing), it is incorrect to regard them as personal. They are impersonal (not-self), beyond our control, brought into transient or momentary existence by causes and conditions. They do not arise by themselves but are brought into being by causes and conditions, which is to say they are dependently originated or arisen. 

 

All of this happens again and again based on ignorance. When liberating-insight arises, enlightenment dawns, and all suffering is brought to an end.

A Guide to Void-Gazing Meditation

Editors, Wisdom Quarterly; Wayne Pitches (voices.yahoo.com)

The boundless sky or akasha includes space (bbc.co.uk)

 

Deep in meditation (wiki)

This is a variation on a Tibetan meditation known as "Sky-Gazing." It is named this because the practice involves gazing in a relaxed way at the sky as one meditates. This meditation is essentially the same and can be used indoors or wherever even if the sky is not immediately visible.

Begin by taking a seat with back erect, hands resting on lap. Alternatively, lie down comfortably, but not so comfortably that sleep comes on. Close the eyes, and take a few calming breaths as eyes settle gently behind the eyelids, gazing gently ahead. To relax even further, repeat silently the seed mantra, Emaho (ay-mah-ho). It is Tibetan for "wondrous!" and is the core-teaching of Tibetan meditation. Experience the wonder of being alive, sitting there in immersed in our original Buddha nature.

 

Gazing at Occupy LA (WQ)

Imagine staring out into a vast emptiness, a deep dark void where nothing exists. When this can be imagined easily, begin to breathe in and out as deeply as possible while remaining relaxed. The focus should be on the out-breath, imagining that with each exhalation one is breathing essence out into that void, becoming one with its spacious luminosity. No ego exists here. Feel yourself expanding beyond any corporeal confines, filling that void. More

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