I'm in love! (love addiction)

Ashley Wells, Wisdom Quarterly; Ann Smith (Healthy Connections/PsychologyToday.com)

Danger, drama: Lana Del Rey wants the whole world to love her (New York Times)

Evolution of the parasite: Tapeworm, Flea, Leech, Vampire Bat, Banker...Love Addict

 

How To Break the Pattern of Love Addiction

Reinvent Yourself: future focus

Part 2. Might as well face it if you're "addicted" to love. Love does not cure all, not even close.

 

Rachel Uchitel, an alleged Tiger Woods' mistress, spoke openly about her addiction to love because of her participation in Dr. Drew Pinksy's "Celebrity Rehab." For many people this may be the first time they ever heard about love addiction, so here's a popular post about the topic from last year:

 

First things first. Take this brief quiz to see if you are likely a "love addict."

When is love an addiction?

1. Did you once think that if only someone loved you in that "special way" you would be happy for the rest of your life?

2. Were you/Are you pre-occupied with the notions of love as expressed in music, movies and fiction?

3. Have you ever tried to talk yourself into loving someone you weren't particularly fond of because you needed the love NOW?

4. Have you felt the need to prop up or do a total makeover on your partner early on in your relationship rather than admit that he/she wasn't right for you and end it?
5. Have you stayed in a bad relationship or repeatedly returned to an ex-partner because you couldn't stand to be alone?
6. When you are in a committed relationship do you wonder if you chose the RIGHT one or fantasize about a lover from your past, thinking you should have kept him or her and then you would be happier?
7. Have you used the words "soul mate" in reference to how love should be? ...

Not crazy in love, getting paid

No need to score or rate yourself. If you suspect you are a love addict -- don't feel too badly about it. I was a member of the love addicts club for a good portion of my life as well. I too was in love with love.

I have built my career on this issue, working with ordinary people who are lost when it comes to finding and sustaining a healthy relationship, stuck in a cycle of pain and disappointment in others and themselves.

They believe that either they just can't find the right one or that the early infatuation waned and they are no longer "in love." Some jump from one relationship to another in search of that wonderful feeling they once had.
 
Others stay, despite feeling dissatisfied, harboring secret thoughts of leaving, cultivating emotional affairs, or cheating from time to time, having no clue about the real problem.
 
To be clear, addiction can be defined in a general way as a compulsive (repeated action without choice) and chronic (ongoing over time) pattern of using a substance or behavior for soothing, comforting, and/or arousal. It is used as a means of medicating uncomfortable feelings. "Addicts" typically continue use of their behavior or drug of choice despite negative consequences.
 
Sex addiction is a compulsive pattern of pursuing sexual arousal independent of emotional attachments. [While this seems common and promoted among American males, it gets so out of control -- for example with online porn addiction -- as to be devastating; attend an SAA meeting and find out how bad if you doubt that such a condition can even exist.]

 

Love addiction [more common and promoted among American females, so much so that we may consider it "typical" gendered behavior] is a little harder to define simply because by nature we are all "addicted" to love -- meaning we want it, seek it, and have a hard time not thinking about it. More

   All Princess Sleeping Beauty needs is Love's True Kiss to get better. O where, O where could it be found? On the lips of the prince...or the wicked witch of the fairy queendom? Lana Del Rey -- an expert after filming the Saga "Summertime Sadness" -- knows in "Once Upon a Dream"

• SCIENCE: Artificial vaginas are on the way
• PHOTO: What's up with Cameron Diaz's face?
• Involuntary sterilization then and now
• Parenting: Pop Psychology
• Kylie Jenner goes crazy at the MMVAs
• Kim Kardashian tries to go crazier at Bonaroo 
• The most popular erection drug is not Viagra
• Grow close by asking right questions 
• How much time should couples spend together? 5 tips

Baby born with four hands, feet

What is "Refuge Recovery" from addiction?

Noah Levine, M.A. (RefugeRecovery.org), Seth Auberon, CC Liu, Wisdom Quarterly

Dharma Punx center, Against the Stream Buddhist Meditation Society, for Refuge Recovery

Is it true you're giving away free books tonight?

FREE, tonight only (6-13-14)

Yes, the publisher is making them available at the BLVD Open House and Book Launch Party.

So it's already out?

Yes, there were a lot of pre-orders. It's now shipping. Anyone can pick up a copy at the Melrose Center (AgainsttheStream.org, East Hollywood on Melrose Ave. next to Los Angeles Community College).

Why would anyone want to read this book or practice it?

Noah Levine, M.A., drug recovery counselor

Refuge Recovery is a nonprofit organization. It is our vision and intention to build an extensive and comprehensive network of Refuge Recovery meetings, communities, and treatment options [that don't depend on "God" as one's higher power].

We are actively seeking donations to build treatment centers with both residential and outpatient services.

What would these donations be for?

Our goal is to raise the capital to start treatment centers with tax-deductible donations, so that all the profit that comes from providing these services can go back into the community in the form of reduced rates for residential treatment for those without insurance coverage, as well as to scholarships to meditation retreats, access to outpatient services, and building of the nonprofit's infrastructure.

• A Buddhist Path to Recovery from Addiction
• BLVD for residential and outpatient services

Introduction to the book Refuge Recovery

The book that started it all (ATS)

Refuge Recovery is a practice, a process, a set of tools, a treatment, and a path to healing addiction and the suffering caused by addiction. The main inspiration and guiding philosophy for the Refuge Recovery program are the teachings of Siddhartha (Sid) Gautama, a teacher who taught in India 25 [26 or more actually] centuries ago. 

 

Sid was a radical psychologist and a spiritual revolutionary. Through his own efforts and practices he came to understand why human beings [and devas] cause and experience so much suffering. He referred to the root cause of suffering as “uncontrollable thirst or repetitive craving.”

• [Actually craving is the proximate cause and is focused on because we can do something about it immediately, unlike the other causes and conditions outlined in the formula of Dependent Origination of suffering.]

Dharma Punx tee (dharmapunx.com)

This “thirst” tends to arise in relation to pleasure, but it may also arise as a craving for unpleasant experiences to go away, or as an addiction to people, places, things, or experiences. This is the same thirst of the alcoholic, the same craving as the addict, and the same attachment as the codependent.

 

Eventually, Sid came to understand and experience a way of living that ended all forms of suffering. He did this through a practice and process that includes meditation, wise actions, and compassion. 

 

After freeing himself from the suffering caused by craving [and ignorance and aversion], he spent the rest of his life teaching others how to live a life of well-being and freedom, a life free from suffering.

 

Eva's 66-Day Meditation Challenge (WQ/ATS)

Sid became known as the Buddha, and his teachings became known as Buddhism. The Refuge Recovery program has adapted the core teachings of the Buddha as a treatment of addiction.

 

Buddhism recognizes a nontheistic [one not dependent on any God] approach to spiritual practice. The Refuge Recovery program does not ask anyone to believe anything, only to trust the process and do the hard work of recovery. More

Sounds good. Very modern. Thanks, Noah. See you at the party.

Buddhist Addiction Recovery Center opening

Seth Auberon, Frank Miles, Wisdom Quarterly; AgainstTheStream.org

Last Tuesday Noah Levine paid us a visit at Dharma Punx to announce that Against the Stream Buddhist Meditation Society is adding an outpatient drug and alcohol recovery center. Anyone interested in getting off or successfully staying off drugs using a Buddhist oriented path to recovery can contact Levine or the center to sign up.

Why resort to a REHAB center that promotes theism when a better alternative exists? 

Buddhism is non-theistic, but former Western Buddhist monk Stephen Batchelor (who married a former Buddhist nun), author of Confession of a Buddhist Atheist, is a popular speaker at ATS influencing its outlook on resorting to a better "higher power" than the one one endlessly promoted at ordinary 12-Step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous.  

Kevin Griffin, author of A Burning Desire: Dharma, God, and the Path of Recovery, will be hosting a daylong meditation and recovery workshop this month (see below). His approach incorporates Buddhism and the Noble Eightfold Path

Residential Retreats

Memorial Day - Meaningful Life - Earthdance - Refuge Recovery

Classes and Events

A Burning Desire

Drug and Sex Recovery (ongoing)

Meetings are open to all in recovery

Tuesdays 7:30 pm Hollywood (4300 Melrose Ave., LA 90029)

Thursdays 7:30 pm Santa Monica (1001a Colorado Ave., LA, 90401) 

Saturdays 6:00 pm Santa Monica

Sundays 7:00 pm Hollywood, Melrose Ave.

 

Driven by Fear or Inspired by Love

Half-day (4 hours) with Michele Benzamin-Miki - May 10, 2014, Hollywood, Melrose Ave.

The Great Dharma Race

Melrose to Santa Monica, May 17

Intro to Meditation

May 17, Hollywood, Melrose Ave.

Family Program Starts

May 18, Hollywood, Melrose Ave.

Facing Impermanence with an Open Heart

Daylong with Beth Mulligan and Paul D'Alton, May 25, Santa Monica

 

Buddhism and the Twelve Steps

NEW: 12 Step Workbook

Daylong with Kevin Griffin, May 31, Hollywood, Melrose Ave.

Spring Cleaning

Hollywood, Melrose Ave., June 7

Meditation and Art

with Mollie Favour, June 8 and 10

Dharma Goes to the Movies

An evening with Denise Di Novi, June 14, Santa Monica

Daylong with Amma Thanasanti

June 28, Hollywood, Melrose Ave.

4th of July Camping Trip

July 4-6, San Onofre State Beach 

Melrose Meditations
Meditation and Dharma Talk
Every Wednesday @ 7:30 pm
Connect and Sustain
Every Thursday @ 7:00 pm
Deepening Your Practice
Every Friday @ 7:30 pm
Saturday Afternoon Meditation and Talk

Refuge Recovery: A Buddhist Path

Every Saturday @ 5:00 pm
Meditation and Dharma Talk
Every Sunday @ 11:00 am
Community Silent Sit and Meditation
Every Sunday @ 5:00 pm
Recollective Awareness Meditation
Every Monday @ 10:00 am
Silent Morning Sits
Mon through Fri @ 6 am and @ 7 am

Santa Monica Center
Meditation and Dharma Talk
Every Monday @ 7:30 pm
Deepening Your Practice
Every Wednesday @ 7:30 pm
Connect and Sustain
Every Friday @ 7:30 pm
Dharma Den
Every Sunday @ 7:30 pm

Studio City (Valley)
Meditation and Dharma Talk
Every Thursday @ 7:30 pm

• 83 Problems: A Buddhist Sutra/Parable
  

Author, punk, and Against the Stream co-founder Noah Levine has an inner-meditator who comes out  for all to see. It's the punk ethic: going against the way of the world like the Buddha. That means recovery from addictions. Meditate and destroy inner-obstacles (WQ).

"Masters of Sex" (video)

CC Liu, Wisdom Quarterly; Showtime

Well lock the door, for sure, don't make noise, hide the evidence, and no pictures...

WARNING: Scientific "smut," not for prudish temperaments. May be arousing and/or offensive to sensitive viewers. Oh, grow up; this is the Kama Loka!

Sex researchers Dr. William Masters (Michael Sheen) and Virginia Johnson (Lizzy Caplan) were a real life couple whose groundbreaking scientific research helped start an American conversation about sex that ignited a sexual revolution. The series premiere on their lives and seminal work, "Masters of Sex," on cable channel Showtime is September 29, 2013 at 10:00 pm ET/PT. Also starring Beau Bridges.

UCLA Workshop: Mindfulness Based Therapy

Dhr. Seven, Ashley Wells, Wisdom Quarterly; UCLA MARC (marc.ucla.edu)

For 2,600 years Buddhist meditation experts have developed and refined mindfulness practices or "skillful methods" for studying and alleviating human suffering.

• Innovative Treatment Approaches and Clinical Skill for Trauma, PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, and Addictions
• Oct. 3-Nov. 27, 2013, Friday mornings, 10:00 am-1:00 pm

The emerging innovative application and integration of theory and methodologies from classic Buddhist mindfulness practices such as Insight (vipassana), Zen (zazen), and Tibetan (dzogzen) traditions into contemporary therapeutics is a promising development for clinicians and a wide variety of client populations.

• This workshop is designed for mental health clinicians who would like to begin utilizing the practices and princeiples of mindfulness, compassion training, and acceptance-based treatment with their clients
• It outlines how to help clients manage intense and difficult emotions.
• It teaches the mental (heart), somatic (body), and social (environmental) consequences associated with painful mind-brain-body disorders

• ENROLL: uclaextension.edu, (310) 825-7093 or mntlhealth@uclaextension.edu, for complete course information: Reg#Z5118CA, Z5123CA, Z5124CA, Z5160CA.

EXPERTS

Christopher K. Germer, Ph.D., Harvard Medical School and Institute for Meditation & Psychotherapy (IMP), Self-Compassion in Clinical Practice

L. Cozolino, Ph.D., Pepperdine University, The Construction of Consciousness: Neuroscience and Mind-Body Healing

Lobsang Rapgay, Ph.D., UCLA Geffen Medical School

Traditional Tibetan Mindfulness Practices with CBT for Anxiety Disorders

Ronald A. Alexander, Ph.D., Open Mind Training Institute

Mindfulness and Ericksonian Somatic Approaches to Trauma, PTSD, and Depression

Trudy A. Goodman, Ph.D., InsightLA, IMP

Compassion and Generosity: The Efficacy of Altruism in Clinical Treatment -- How Compassion and Generosity Support Mindfulness in Clinical Work

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D., Private Practice

Mindfulness-Based Psychotherapy: Clinical Applications for Treating Depression and Addictions

Adapting ancient practices for modern life

Coordinators: Ron Alexander, Ph.D. (Wise Mind Open, 2009), co-author of new chapter (Mindfulness and Psychotherapy Handbook, 2014).

Psychologist Jeffrey Hutter, Ph.D., private practice, teaches psychotherapy, Integrative Meditation, and mindfulness training to clients and clinicians; he is also a Clinical Consultant, IMP Mindfulness and Psychotherapy training program.

• Westwood 204 ABC Extension Lindbrook Center
• Oct. 4-Nov. 22, 2013 (5 meetings, except 10-11-13)
• Fridays, 10:00 am-1:00 pm
• Pre-registration required; no enrollment at door.

UCLA professors poached by USC as UCLA students protest fee hikes.

Sex Doctor gets Penis Cancer (video)

Pat Macpherson, Ashley Wells, Wisdom Quarterly

He's not Dinah Cancer; he's Dr. Drew, America's sex and addiction therapist for 30 years.

 

Physician, heal thyself with your own advice.

"Doctor Drew," 55 (radio  host Dr. Drew Pinsky, M.D.), announced today that he is suffering from prostrate cancer, which is ironi c since a health professional of his caliber should be able to heal himself. Natural remedies like saw palmetto (extract) and a healthy sex life, in conjunction with an alkalizing diet (rather than the acidifying S.A.D. or "standard American diet") and a serene (rather than stressful) lifestyle would have kept him well. But as a doctor who promotes invasive surgery, deadly radiation treatments, and toxic allopathic pharmaceutical poisons all in the name of "medicine," this is what Drew and his patients can look forward to. He has, by his own admission, already submitted to voluntary surgery. Can it be long before he confesses to intentional radiation exposure and a regimen of chemotherapy?

Funnier and saltier than Dr. Ruth

Starting Wednesday he will be the guest on a barrage of television and radio shows promoting harmful cancer screenings, which seem to do more to cause cancer than cure it. He is already a white haired, neurotically nervous overachiever (formerly a sufferer of intense panic attacks that even his former radio co-host, Adam Corolla, could barely help him with), who began Loveline with the show's originator DJ Poorman on KROQ FM in his hometown of Pasadena, California.
 

Now he has an media empire consisting of a podcast with Latino heartthrob and former addict Mike Catherwood as well as their nationally syndicated, ever-fresh, ever-educational Loveline Radio Show (lovelineshow.com), an off-again-on-again rehab celebrity TV show, former MTV show, and a much more tame HLN talk show. Drew may not be much of a healer, but he is a well tuned "medical intuitive" showing off his skills in short call in spurts and an addiction medicine specialist. Everything we have ever learned about aberrant sexual behavior, sexually transmitted diseases, and philosophical quandaries about why humans repeat dysfunctional patterns over and over again -- answered with stunning clarity by addiction specialist Dr. Gabor Mate, M.D. -- we learned from Dr. Drew. He may not be, but to us he will always be a real Schmendrick.

(32:00 mins) This is the introduction to the third Zeitgeist film, "Moving Forward," featuring Dr. Gabor Mate. It covers truths about human nature, genetics as non-determinants of disease, health, and concepts and popular misconceptions about "Nature vs. Nuture."

• VIDEO: Republican PORN with Stephen Colbert on Jon Stewart's Daily Show
• VIDEO: Stewart on the hypocrisy of Christians
• VIDEO: Stephen Colbert on Scientology and Tom Cruise
• AUDIO: Obamacare is a well-intentioned rip off
• AUDIO: Pakistan quake forms island, kills hundreds
• MacArthur Genius Grant recipients' list announced!
• 
  This year's 24 recipients of MacArthur Foundation "genius grants" include a physicist whose work was inspired in part by a NPR report he heard a decade ago. As Carl Haber of the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory explains in a video posted by the foundation with Wednesday's awards announcements:
  

  "About 10 years ago I happened to hear a report on NPR about the Library of Congress and their large collections of historic sound recordings, which described them in some cases as being delicate, damaged, deteriorating, and so forth." More
  

Buddhism and the 12 Steps (Kevin Griffin)

Seth Auberon, Wisdom Quarterly; Kevin Griffin, Heather Sundberg, Vajrapani Institute

Laughing Buddha: music steeped in African, Latin, and reggae rhythms, with versatile guitar and lyrics with Buddhist themes recorded by Kevin Griffin, portion of proceeds support American Abhayagiri and British Amaravati Buddhist monasteries (kickstarter.com)

We did drugs, we devolved, and we daily strive to come back --  here's how. Intoxicated, one becomes as much a brute as reality show "cave people" shown here.

 

The Buddha said that craving is the [proximate] cause of suffering. Twelve-Step programs work with the deepest forms of craving, our addictions. How can these two traditions, one secular the other spiritual, work together?

A unique meditation retreat combining Buddhist practices with 12-Step work is in the offing. There is still time to join. It is a four-day intensive with author Kevin Griffin (One Breath at a Time: Buddhism and the Twelve Steps, 2004, and A Burning Desire: Dharma God and the Path of Recovery, 2010) and (Jack Kornfield's Spirit Rock/Joseph Goldstein's Insight Meditation Society) teacher Heather Sundberg.

A Burning Desire (kevingriffin.net)

Using silent insight meditation, interactive exercises, lecture, and discussion, the weekend will explore the ways that Buddhism and the Steps complement one another. Such topics as powerlessness, higher power, inventory, amends, and spiritual awakening. All recovery programs and paths are welcome.

The emphasis will be on bringing mindfulness to all our activities, whether in formal sitting meditation, walking, speaking, listening, or eating. Participants will practice Noble Silence outside of the interactive exercises and discussion periods.

Kevin Griffin is one of the leaders of the mindful recovery movement and one of the founders of the Buddhist Recovery Network. A longtime Buddhist practitioner and 12-Step participant, he teaches nationally on the synthesis of these two traditions.

(heathersundberg.com)

Heather Sundberg has combined her personal experience with meditation and 12-Step work for 20 years. She completed the four-year Spirit Rock/Insight Meditation Society Teacher Training and is also a graduate of the Community Dharma Leaders program. She has studied with senior teachers in the Insight Meditation (vipassana) and Tibetan (Vajrayana) traditions and has sat 1-3 month of retreat a year for over a decade. She is a teacher for Mountain Stream Meditation Center in the Sierra Foothills and also teaches classes, daylongs, and retreats nationally.

• Vegetarian meals and dorm-style room included in $350 cost
  
• Camping is also available for a slightly lower rate.
• Small number of single rooms and cabins are also available.

Teachers and retreat manager/registrar may be offered donations for their efforts at the end of the retreat. They receive no other financial compensation. For registration and information contact Quilley: quilley@yahoo.com or (510) 682-6873.

Kevin Griffin (Berkeley, August 2013) treats us to a soulful, tasty guitar solo as he wraps up a truly wonderful gathering with friends, which included song, dance, and sweet treats in celebration of the release of his newest CD, "Laughing Buddha."

•  Why was J.D. Salinger (Catcher in the Rye) a recluse?