How to find love on OkCupid, Match (audio)

Ashley Wells, Amber Larson, Seth Auberon, CC Liu, Wisdom Quarterly; Caitlin Roper (Senior Ed., wired.com); "AirTalk" (SCPR.org, Can a few words turn us into successful online daters?)

What? We met online! It's like we've known each other for years. Miley is our role model!

   

Annoying Ugly Duckling transformed. Who?

Trying to look attractive on online dating profiles? Take up yoga or surfing.
 
According to WIRED’s analysis of “massive amounts of data” from popular dating sites OkCupid and Match.com, what people say in their profiles may play a role in how attractive other users find them to be. (Continued with audio below this simple How To).
 
How To Score Dates on Match.com
Agatha Thornbush, Guest Contributor

10. Tell them right up front: "NO DRAMA!!!"

First, set your standards high. Way high. It's like my firstborn's father used to say, "Aim for the stars to hit the moon." Second, be firm. Stand your ground. Don't let anybody cross your boundaries. Three, set boundaries. You've got to tell him/her right on the first date. I didn't pay Match.com good money to date a scrub. Fourth, go light on the pictures. God knows, if they're really interested, they'll wait. Whose going to want to buy Coca-Cola in cans when he/she can get Pepsi in plastic? Think. D'uh. Fifth, don't wear your heart on your shoulder. But a chip is OK. Six, make sure there grammer is impecable. 

Think his dialing finger broke?

Six, don't ask about money or a job. But keep an eye on their shoes and where they take you. That'll tell you ALL you need to know. I'm out to protect myself. Seven, make your expectations known right up front. Speak your mind; don't edit. Do you have time to waste? Because I don't have time to waste! If you don't want commitment, marriage, a house, kids, and all of it on my internal-clock's schedule, why are you wasting my time? Eighth, read The Secret and Law of Attraction, and Cosmo, and let the man chase. There are plenty of fish in the sea. What makes you think you're so special? The same probably holds true for thespians. Ninth, find me on Match, J Date, Christian Singles, Buddhist Singles, Agnostic Singles, or Catpeople for Catpeople, and let me know how it goes. Remember, "My package, my rules!" It's a lot of steps, but here they are all summarized in this short instructional video:

WARNING: Corporate situations, sexual references, language, Riff Raff!

 

In the good old days, no one had sex. Wink

A hard look at the 1,000 most popular words on the site and how attractive the people who use them are rated shows that the “hottest” men talk about oceans, breakfast, and live music.
 
The women mention fitness, Radiohead, and fashion. Attractive people of both genders overwhelmingly mention yoga, surfing, and London [associated with well heeled travel or the London Olympics?]
 
Another common theme for the most attractive online daters is some breaking of gender norms: Women interested in technology and men who mention crafting are rated very attractive.
 

That's? No way! Yes way. (DailyMail.co.uk)

Are we a culture of "Karma Police" listening, yoga enjoying, Anglophiles?
 
Is the dating pool on sites like OkCupid and Match self-selecting? Does online attractiveness translate to in-person chemistry?

• LISTEN NOW: AUDIO (19:29)

• "Peaceful" publication scandalizes celebrity by calling her a f*gl* llama-faced @$$&!#
• Ready or not, Winter Olympics competitions kick off in Sochi, Russia
• Resurgence of long-form journalism - quantity vs quality

Maybe whom we meet is due to our "Karma Police" - Ashley
 

The Agatha System worked!! Wait, these are just pics of pen*ses. WT*? (F.J. Brown)

Black Friday madness (video)

Pat Macpherson and Ashley Wells, Wisdom Quarterly; HowStuffWorks.com; Daily Mail

Crazed American shoppers pushed to a frenzy of greed by US propaganda (CBC.ca)

Violent and chaotic scenes at a Walmart store after reduced price flat-screen televisions (with enhanced monitoring devices built in to facilitate homeland spying even when off and unplugged by the NSA and other agencies) go on sale (DailyMail.co.uk).

 

The sky gods must not want us to shop in Los Angeles because it's raining. Ominous clouds, egged on by lots of chemtrails (aerosol sky-seeding with toxic heavy metal particulates), were hanging around all week. It's supposed to be Buy Nothing Friday or Shop Small Business Saturday. But as Grey Thursday turned into Black Friday greed overwhelmed us -- craving for senseless bargains and "door busters," which means a few come leader items that will have run out by the time we arrive. If anyone is planning on getting them, bring gloves, regulation boxing gloves or jousting rods and protective vests, because "bargain shopping" means WAR. Think not? According to the British Daily Mail:

• The rush for Black Friday bargains has resulted in outbreaks of violence as shoppers clash over reduced prices.
• Police in Virginia are reporting a stabbing incident after two men got into a fight in the parking lot over a space.
• In Las Vegas, an alleged thief shot a shopper in the leg and stole his TV.
• Cops in Chicago shoot a man as he scuffles trying to escape another cop.
• Shoppers cutting in line sparked a Black Friday Brawl at another Walmart.
• Several clips have already appeared on YouTube of the carnage at various Walmarts, [the biggest and most notorious shopping outlet and employee abuser].
• Some retailers opened their doors as early as 6:00 am on Thanksgiving Day...

The Black Friday Myth

Outta my way, I'm shopping! (The Simpsons)

We c­an always expect to deal with jam-packed stores, long lines, and frenzied shoppers in search of "Black Friday" deals. And as far as the number of bodies that walk in and out of stores, Black Friday hauls them in. That heavy Black Friday foot traffic translates to high dollar profits, accounting for 4.5 to 5 percent of all holiday sales [source: Credeur and Riddell]. In 2007, retail sales on Black Friday and Saturday netted $16.4 billion [ShopperTrak]. That's an undeniably large number. But it isn't the largest of the season. In fact, Black Friday isn't the busiest shopping day of the year normally, despite what popular opinion holds [National Retail Federation]. Instead, the holiday shopping procrastinators win out: The highest sales day of the year usually strikes the Saturday before Christmas [International Council of Shopping Centers]. How is that possible if shoppers line up in front of stores at the crack of dawn on Black Friday? More

Cyber Monday?

I could care less, mom! (HSW)

The latest buzzword for holiday shopping is "Cyber" Monday. In 2005, online retailers created this reference for the Monday after Thanksgiving. The Web merchants figured that this day would see a substantial sales bump since a majority of online shoppers make their purchases at work. Following an intense marketing effort to get Cyber Monday into the mainstream lexicon (and thereby drive customers online), sales figures revealed that the day generally doesn't rank in the Top 10 busiest online shopping days. [Oops! That's propaganda for ya.]

• VIDEO: Canada: Shopping stampede starts early in US
• UK: It's Black-Eye Friday, kill for junk at bargain prices!
• Greed over gratitude: Shop on Thanksgiving/Grey Thursday
• Don't shop for loved ones, listen to them (Story Corps)
• Pete Wentz? 10 People You Didn't Know Were Black