Ashley Wells, Wisdom Quarterly; Feb. 18, 2014)
All of a sudden this [Valentine's Day] weekend, a bunch of friends began passing around the same Business Insider article on Facebook, called “A Beautiful House in Brooklyn is Secretly Being Used for Upscale Sex Parties” by Megan Rose Dickey.
Uh oh, I thought, having only read the headline. I immediately knew which house and which parties were being talked about. Some secret! But what exactly does the writer mean, “beautiful” house being used for “upscale” sex parties?
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| Sexy? (thefrisky.com) |
Look. I’m a writer. I get the way this author is trying to tell the story: Readers might think things are ONE WAY, but really they are a completely different way! Whoa! Mind blown?!
It’s a common narrative device (e.g., “Dick Cheney Bottle Feeds Sick Kittens!”) that operates on an assumption most people share (i.e., Dick Cheney is not a nice person).
My issue with the Business Insider piece is the specific assumptions the writer makes. Given how frequently I write about sex, I’m well aware of the sorts of attitudes some people have towards sex-positive folks.
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| Why Charlie quit "50 Shades of Grey" |
They usually range from “You’re going to get STDs, sluts!” to “Ewww, why do you have to shove your sexuality in my FACE (but do you maybe want to have cyber-sex later)?” More
- Can SEX make us smarter?
- Can yoga be free for a week?
- Tips on "sexting" nude pics
- How to avoid getting killed on Craigslist
- I went to an Indian sweat lodge and didn't die
- Your favorite pastime: ruining your relationship?
- POLL: Should California be divided into 6 states?
- Why does Julianne Hough want to be single for a year?
- Catholic Archbishop Mahony kept altar boy list from police
SUTRA: The Conch Trumpet: Illicit Sex
Amber Larson, Dhr. Seven (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly; Ven. Thanissaro (trans.) (SN 42.8)
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| I swear, I didn't know this person was married! Ugh, get away from me! |
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| I'm trying to stop. But my mind pulls me back. |
Then the headman Asibandhakaputta, a disciple of the Niganthas [Jains], arrived, bowed, and sat respectfully to one side. The Blessed One addressed him: "Headman, how does the Nigantha Nataputta [Mahavira, the founder of Jainism] teach dharma to his disciples?"
"Venerable sir, the Nigantha Nataputta teaches dharma to his disciples in this way: 'All who take life are destined for a state of deprivation, destined for hell. All who steal... All who indulge in illicit sex... All who speak falsely* [see the Five Precepts] are destined for a state of deprivation, destined for hell. Whatever one keeps doing frequently, by that is one led [to a state of rebirth].' That is how he teaches dharma to his disciples."
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| My church is fine with |
"...The time spent not... indulging in illicit sex is certainly more. If it is true that 'Whatever one keeps doing frequently, by that is one led [to a state of rebirth],' then no one is destined for a state of deprivation or destined for hell in line with the Nigantha Nataputta's words."...
"Headman, there is a case where a certain teacher holds this doctrine, holds this view: 'All who take life are destined for a state of deprivation, destined for hell. All who steal... All who indulge in illicit sex... All who speak falsely are destined for a state of deprivation, destined for hell.' A disciple has faith in that teacher, and the thought occurs, 'Our teacher holds this doctrine, holds this view: "All who [do these things] are destined for a state of deprivation, destined for hell." There are living beings I have killed. I, too, am destined for a state of deprivation, destined for hell.' One clings to that view. If one does not abandon that doctrine, does not abandon that state of mind, does not relinquish that [wrong] view, then just as if one were to be carried off and placed there, one will be [reborn] in hell.
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| "My body, my rules"! I'm naked and loving it! |
"There is the case, headman, where a Wayfarer (Tathagata) appears in the world, worthy and rightly self-awakened, consummate in knowledge and [proper] conduct, well-gone, a knower of the universe, unexcelled trainer of those to be tamed, teacher of human beings and devas, enlightened, blessed. He in various ways criticizes and censures [unwholesome karma] and says, 'Abstain from [it].'...
"A disciple has faith in that teacher and reflects: 'The Blessed One in a variety of ways criticizes and censures [unwholesome karma like indulging in illicit sex] and says, "Abstain from [it]." There are living beings I have [harmed], to a greater or lesser extent. That was not right. That was not good. But if I become remorseful for that reason, that unskillful deed of mine will not [thereby] be undone.' So, reflecting in this way, a disciple abandons right then [such unprofitable actions, such unskillful karma] and in the future refrains from [it]. This is how there comes to be the abandoning of that harmful action (karma). This is how there comes to be the transcending of that harmful action. ...
- *UNSKILLFUL DEEDS: killing, stealing, sexual misconduct. FALSE SPEECH (unskillful verbal actions): perjury, divisive speech, harsh speech, and idle chatter. UNSKILLFUL MENTAL KARMA: covetousness (greed), ill will (anger, hate), wrong views (delusion).
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| Buddhism is for museums! What has it to do with me? (Mark Kamermans/pomax/flickr) |
"A disciple of the noble ones (ariya pugala), headman -- thus devoid of covetousness, devoid of ill will, unbewildered, alert, mindful -- keeps pervading first one direction [the east] with loving kindness, likewise the second direction, likewise the third, likewise the fourth. So above, below, and all around, everywhere, in all directions, one keeps pervading the all-encompassing universe with an loving kindness -- abundant, expansive, immeasurable, free of hostility, free of ill will.
"Just as a strong conch-trumpet blower can call out in four [cardinal] directions without any difficulty, in the same way, when one finds temporary liberation through loving kindness, it is developed, pursued, and any deed done to a limited extent no longer remains there, no longer stays there [no longer obstructs and hinders one].
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| Buddhism is ancient but ever useful (Boonlieng/flickr) |
When this was said, the headman Asibandhakaputta, a disciple of the Niganthas, said to the Blessed One: "Magnificent, venerable sir, magnificent! It is just as if one were to set upright what was overturned, or to reveal what was hidden, or to point out the way to one who was lost, or to carry a lamp into the dark so that those with eyes could see forms! In the same way has the Blessed One -- through many lines of reasoning -- made the dharma clear. I go to the Blessed One for guidance, to the Dharma, and to the enlightened Community [all stream enterers and others destined for certain enlightenment within seven lives, conventionally thought of as the Monastic Order, the noble Sangha]. May the Blessed One remember me as a lay follower who has gone for guidance from this day forward for life!"
KARMA: BUDDHISM vs. JAINISM
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