Forgiveness (khanti) in Buddhism

Amber Larson, Seth Auberon, CC Liu, Wisdom Quarterly; Ven. Nyanatiloka (Anton Gueth)

Hope he doesn't come over when my husband's there, hope he remembers low fat... (N)

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Change your mind, change your life

There was this car, this reckless driver, that cut me off. I slammed on my brakes, burned with fury, and followed her. She pulled over. I cocked my fists in full ROAD RAGE mode, went to undo my seat belt, then realized I wasn't even wearing one! Which made me angrier, because I realized I really could have died due to this #$%@*&'s thoughtless driving -- I mean I was riding pretty fast. And this careless, careless jerk wasn't paying attention: "Hey" I screamed, "why don't you watch where I'm going?!"

Ride like a meditator. Drive like a rishi (seer).

She laughed, "That's funny. Sorry 'bout that!" 

Funny? Oh, because she should obviously be watching where I'm going? She needs to be responsible for me, or just what kind of society are we living in?! There are road rules...and, apparently, only I can break them! Everybody -- that means all y'all -- should be considerate of me, my body, my feelings, and my perspective in every situation, or I am gonna be p*ssed! Maybe she doesn't like speeding bikes in her way? Maybe you don't?

Look at the things I get mad at! I was cut off and inconvenienced. It's not like I was being cheated on. That would really need patience and a level head. Oh to have khanti! Sweet Dharma, wherefore art thou?

 

Khanti: "forbearance," "patience," "forgiveness"  is one of the Ten Perfections (pāramī) in Buddhism. 

 

Nice magnet! Wife home? - No she's on the road

More than simple forgiveness after the fact -- which is something we must do anew every time we recall an upsetting incident of being (or even perceiving that we have been) violated, trespassed, molested, bothered, or otherwise inconvenienced -- khanti means pre-forgiveness.
 
We must have forbearance, which the Buddha called "the highest virtue," the ability to tolerate, endure, and remain equanimous when things do not go to our liking.

Very be careful or end up on another "bike."

If we pre-forgive there will be nothing to forgive later -- and that will make our lives so much easier that we can hardly comprehend its value.

Who would we be if we did not throw away our energy getting mad in the first place then getting madder when we recollect someone else's wrongdoing?

Learning from the Buddha (NEPLOHO/flickr)

Our karma is our karma (the bad mental karma of dredging up the past, the Wrong Path, recollection full of resentment, that re-upsets us). Their karma is their karma, reckless causing accidents out of ignorance, selfishness, or animosity (aka greed, hatred, delusion). It is not our job to fix them, but it is our job to fix ourselves. It is not their job to fix us, but it is their job to work on themselves. We can all help one another, but we cannot do each other's work for one another. "Everyone is heir to one's own karma," teaches the Buddha (AN 5.57). And whatever we are heir to, it will arrive, it will arrive. Let's make it something welcome and joyful.

It's called a "bike." - No, friend, I meant are those Shimano brakes? They're not going to cut it. Look at this guy, trying to use cut-rate brakes in the Last Himalayan Buddhist Kingdom!

The Lotus Sutra (Chapter 2)

Dhr. Amber Larson, Dhr. Seven, Wisdom Quarterly; based on Burton Watson translation

Chapter II: Expedient Means

At that time the World-Honored One calmly arose from his meditative-absorption (samadhi) and addressed Sariputra, saying: "The wisdom of the buddhas is infinitely profound and immeasurable. 

The door to this profound wisdom is difficult to understand and difficult to enter. Not one of the hearers (shravakas) or nonteaching-buddhas (pratyekabuddhas) is able to comprehend it.

 

"What is the reason for this? A [supremely enlightened samma-sam-] Buddha has personally attended [on] a hundred, a thousand, ten thousand, a million, a countless number of buddhas and has fully carried out an immeasurable number of religious practices. He has exerted himself bravely and vigorously, and his name is universally known. He has realized the Dharma that is profound and never known before, and preaches it in accordance with what is appropriate, yet his intention is difficult to understand.

 

"Sariputra, ever since I attained buddhahood, I have through various causes and various similes widely expounded my teachings and have used countless expedient means to guide living beings and cause them to renounce attachments. Why is this? 

It is because the Thus Come One (Tathagata) is fully possessed by both expedient means and the perfection of wisdom.

A lotus, its beauty and fragrance, arise from mud.

 

"Sariputra, the wisdom of the Thus Come One is expansive and profound. He has immeasurable [mercy], unlimited [eloquence], power, fearlessness, concentration, emancipation, and meditative-absorptions, and has deeply entered the boundless and awakened to the Dharma never before attained.

 

"Sariputra, the Thus Come One knows how to make various kinds of distinctions and to expound the teachings skillfully. His words are soft and gentle and delight the hearts of the assembly.

 

"Sariputra, to sum it up: the Buddha has fully realized the Dharma that is limitless, boundless, never attained before.

"But stop, Sariputra, I will say no more. Why? It is because what the Buddha has achieved is the rarest and most difficult-to-understand Dharma [truth]. The true entity of all phenomena can only be understood and shared between buddhas. This reality consists of the appearance, nature, entity, power, influence, inherent cause, relation, latent effect, manifest effect, and their consistency from beginning to end."

 

At that time the World-Honored One, wishing to state his meaning once more, spoke in verse, saying:

The great hero of the world is unfathomable. Among heavenly beings or the people of the world, among all living beings, none can understand the Buddha. The Buddha's power, fearlessness, emancipation, and meditative-absorptions, and the Buddha's other attributes -- no one can reckon or fathom.

 

(windhorse.com.au)

Earlier, under the guidance of countless buddhas, he fully acquired and practiced various ways, profound, subtle, and wonderful doctrines that are hard to see and hard to understand.

 

For immeasurable millions of aeons (kalpas) he has been practicing these ways until in the place of practice he achieved the goal. I have already come to know-and-see completely this great goal and recompense, the meaning of these various natures and characteristics.

I and the other buddhas of the ten directions can now understand these things. This Dharma cannot be described, words fall silent before it. Among the other kinds of living beings there are none who can comprehend it, except the... More