Sugar is worse than cocaine (video)

Amber Larson, Seth Auberon, Wisdom Quarterly; Alex Cohen (SCPR.org); Suzi Yoonessi

What's she doin? I'dunno, but it's Barbie! How could it be bad? Her Corvette, dream house

Is it child abuse to give your kids sugar? Coca Barbie doesn't think so!

Funny or Die had a contest, and "Olive and Mocha's Fast Times at Sugar High" took first place. It was an unlikely friendship between a goody-goody and a bad-seed that resulted in havoc at a birthday party.

I'm not hyper! But get me some more candy!

Sugar was the culprit. Not System of a Down's "Sugar," though maybe that had something to do with it. It was the pure white and artificially-flavored confection and killer of America's kids. How could it be worse than the deadly excitotoxin cocaine? For one thing, it's legal. For another, no one suspects it.

We were all high on SUGAR: "The Kombucha mushroom people...!"

 

Birthday party: Fast Times at Sugar High

They shove it into kids, with each American child snorting, shooting (hospital IV), or swallowing an average of 150 one-pounds sacks of it each year, usually hidden in food, desserts, and soda. It dehydrates, ruins the ability to concentrate, sends blood glucose levels through the roof, kicks the immune system offline for about five hours after each it, and eats away at the body. It may or may not directly cause obesity, but it is the cause of early-onset diabetes, brain problems (mental fog, confusion, spectrum disorders), cancer, tooth rotting, premature aging, and more. Yuck!
 

Funny or Die contest

Drugs! Drugs! Get your drugs here!

(SCPR) The L.A. Film Festival this year joined forces with the comedy video website Funny or Die in a talent search for diverse, unique, and authentic voices in the comedy world.

 

The submissions to the "Make 'em LAFF" competition were whittled down to the top 25, then the top 5, and this weekend, the first place winner was revealed: Suzi Yoonessi (audio).

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